The following will not appear in the “Lifestyles of the Natural & Professional” section of the upcoming issue of The Simplifier:

————————

Oh, to be the young upstart! The new guard, the fresh blossom; it’s so inspiring and exciting…to beat the crusty, lame, old, creaky…

I’m speaking, of course, of the feud between the Project Simplify and Natural Professional Facebook “fan pages”. We (The Natural Professional) are totally crushing Project Simplify! I mean, they’ve had a fan page since like 2009 (and I don’t mean December 2009)—and we already have more than twice as many fans. And we’ve only had a fan page since like 2009 (and I do mean December)!

Just to be clear, we (Project Simplify) are proud to see our little N.P. having such early success, and we’re totally not jealous at all. (Because, of course, we know we’re largely responsible for said success.)

Well, that’s very big of you, Project Simplify, and we (The Natural Professional) would like to point out that PS is totally not old and dusty and archaic at all. And we will absolutely try to remember them when we get rich and famous.

Hey—no need to get nasty! We Project Simplify have a few cards we could play too—you The Natural Professional might want to remember that…

You see what we (the Shawn Tuttle and Lance Brown) have to deal with here? Simplification can be so ironic!

I don’t know exactly how to settle this feud, but I can tell you—and this is confidential—that Project Simplify is genuinely happy to see the blossoming of The Natural Professional’s presence on Facebook, and would like to encourage you to become a “fan” if you aren’t already. It will work out its jealousy issues in time. ;-)